Obsessed: Confessions of a Wrapping Paper Addict

Addiction is a powerful thing. It all started quite innocently. In the 1970’s, my husband was stationed in Okinawa. Shopping there was truly an experience. Many items one purchased in their stores were wrapped in delightful high quality wrapping paper. The stationery sold there was exquisite. It was thick and very smooth to write on. The design on it was beautiful. Even the plain brown paper bags were heavy duty paper compared to what we were used to back in the US. Looking back, I realize this is where it began. I was getting spoiled on quality paper products.

If you remember the 80’s and 90’s, you’ll remember the great number of liquidator stores scattered throughout almost every small town in Wisconsin. I soon came to realize wrapping paper was significantly cheaper at the liquidator stores. It was also not as beautiful as the wrapping paper in the nationally known card shop. But hey, we could pick the better designs, put a color-coordinated bow on it and save some money, so why not buy the liquidator wrap?

In the 1980’s the quality of the liquidator paper varied. Most of it did not compare to the Okinawa paper. I was left disappointed, but still glad to have spared my budget the hefty price of the card store gift wrap. Sometimes I had to double and triple wrap my gifts so that the recipient couldn’t see the gift through the wrapping paper. As a result, they ended up seeing the design from layers two and three showing through the top layer. The inferior liquidator wrap would also easily tear. My heart longed for Okinawa wrapping paper.  

As the 1990’s began, the liquidator wrapping paper started showing signs of improvement. It was getting thicker. Some even had light dashed lines on the back to guide the cutter. Now we’re making progress! I was getting excited. Most of the designs were not the greatest, but every so often a beautiful floral wrap would appear on the shelf. In those instances I would stock up and my gift recipients could expect to get the same design on their wrapping paper for the next two to three years! The Christmas wrap was also getting to be a better quality.   

One fall I found a very sturdy roll of all occasion wrapping paper in a liquidator store. It was a medium blue in color, almost like a blue sky going gray. The design was rather masculine and consisted of ducks and some cattails. The ducks somewhat resembled Mallards. The paper was so thick it could have qualified as wallpaper. I wrapped my son-in-law’s large birthday gift in it. As I tried to crease it and fold it over, it protested. It was so thick; it barely showed the fold marks after it was opened. My daughter said it was too good to throw away, so she kept it and recycled it. She gave us the next birthday gift wrapped in the recycled duck wrap. We, in turn, saved the wrap and recycled it back to her by wrapping her next gift in it. Every time we recycled the duck wrap, it became a little smaller. We had to cut the edges off where the tape had held the wrap together on the last gift it was used for. With each recycling event, the box wrapped in the duck wrap got smaller. This went on for an extended time. Every time one of us opened the next gift, we would laugh about the duck wrap. Finally it was so reduced in size that it barely wrapped a small earring box for its last grand gesture. Truly, the duck wrap had established quite a reputation in the world of wrapping paper. Not only was it a bargain, but it was thicker than wallpaper and very durable. Take that, card store wrap!

Every trip to the liquidators left me feeling like I had to buy more wrapping paper. Birthday wrap, Christmas wrap, baby gift wrap, wedding wrap. But by now, the quality of the bargain wrapping papers was starting to decline again. I was left wanting more. So was my daughter. The days of the duck wrap were over and we were mourning the loss of the quality liquidator wraps. We continued buying them, despite our disappointment. When we would tear open gifts, we would look at each other, giggle, and simultaneously say, “Crappy wrap!”

Soon the liquidator stores started closing down and we had a bargain wrapping paper void. Wrapping paper anxiety set in. Well, that would justify the large stock I already had on hand. You never can have too much wrap! Not long after that the everything costs a dollar stores starting appearing, just as we were running out of our “crappy wrap.” More rolls of tissue-thin wrap were appearing again in every small town. I looked in my wrapping paper holder containers. Yes, that’s plural. As I counted the rolls, I shuddered. “This is out of control,” I would tell myself. “But if you find a nice design or a roll with thick paper or cutting lines on the back, you just can’t leave it in the store! It could be a long time before you can find a good design or that quality again, so you had better stock up.” The wrapping paper hoarder voice in my head was speaking to me. This continued for the all occasion wraps. But oh, the Christmas wrap. That one was the most out of control.

It was amazing and exciting to me that some of the most unlikely stores sold Christmas wrap. Grocery stores. Gas stations. It was everywhere! It seemed everyone wanted in on the excitement of the wrap! And I had to check it out in every store.  While sashaying down the aisles, I could spot it quite a distance away. Noooooo, don’t look at it! It was calling me. Sometimes even the thin, cheap wrapping paper had a stunning design. Conflict arose within me. The agony of the decision tore at me. Should I cave and purchase this cheap wrap? “No! I have enough! I don’t need it! But it is sooooo pretty. Oh, for goodness sake.” I would tell myself. “This is ridiculous. Just forget it!” Sadly, my addicted hand reached for it anyway, held it, and turned the roll around, as if the pattern would be any different on the other side of the roll. I just need to hold it for a while. Sometimes I stayed strong and put the roll back on the shelf. Sometimes.

Then it happened. A major disruption. The gift bag debuted. They were pretty with no gift card required for many and no bow required. They were easier to use than gift wrap and worked for most gifts. Often you could find matching tissue to use with them. Now, tell me, why would anyone continue buying and using wrapping paper after the gift bag appeared on the scene? Yet, I found I used very few gift bags. It’s not the same if a gift is opened and there is no paper tearing. Paper tearing is an important part of the anticipation and opening of the gift. I listen for the sound of the paper tearing. The sound of the paper tear varies based on the quality of the gift wrap used. What’s the ultimate sound of gift paper tearing? That would be the sound the duck wrap made. I hadn’t heard that sound for a long time. I was not going to sacrifice “the tear” just to use some beautiful and well-made gift bags that would save me time and work. After using a couple of gift bags, I quickly returned to using gift wrap.

Sadly, my gift wrap addiction eventually took hold on my daughter. We made pacts early in the season to not buy any more Christmas wrap until we used up most of our current stock. As Christmas approached, we compared notes and both sheepishly confessed that we had bought more in some moments of weakness. Rare moments, of course. 

With the passage of time we have seen some changes. The everything costs a dollar stores have turned into the everything costs more than a dollar stores, but still no duck wrap is found on the shelves.

The Home Décor and Hobby store has wonderful Christmas wrapping paper. It is beautiful, often has lines on the back, cuts smoothly, and … tada … it almost comes up to the standard set by the duck wrap. There are so many pretty designs, it is hard to pick, so why don’t I get a few extra rolls?  When I return to that store the next week, my heart stops. Oh great, now they have some new options. I don’t want to miss out on those! The following week I return to the same store and find the wrapping paper is on sale for 50% off. This makes me feel like I will miss out on a bargain if I don’t get at least a couple rolls at the sale price. It doesn’t hurt to be a year or two ahead. You never know, we could be entering another decade of “crappy wrap”.

I get home and survey my rolls of Christmas wrap. This leads me to believe I need to completely avoid gift wrap in the stores. I’ll admit I have considered wearing horse blinders to the store so I don’t get distracted by the gift wrap. Perhaps I do need professional help for this wrapping paper obsession. It has been going on for over four decades.

I think I could be considered a wrapping paper historian. After all, this obsession started as the era of folded wrapping paper squares was ending. I probably should open a Museum of Wrap. I could wrap the outside of the museum with duck wrap. I could wallpaper different rooms of the museum with a variety of Christmas wrap. I could set up hands-on learning displays for people to experience the different tearing sounds made from the various qualities of wrapping paper. There could be another lab for people to experience cutting the paper on the dotted lines and assessing the size of paper needed for a given gift. I could let them experience the perfect cut where the scissor slides thru the paper without any cutting action whatsoever. In the museum gift shop, I could sell gift wrap for every occasion, including Christmas, year round. Wow, this is getting me excited. If I open up a Museum of Wrap, I could buy bulk wrapping paper. I could buy it wholesale! But until that happens, I probably should go to the store and get some more wrapping paper so we have enough on hand until then.

That is in the future. We are dealing with the now. This December. This Christmas. Now, I know someone out there is going to be wrapping gifts late Christmas Eve after the stores close. Someone will realize they are out of Christmas wrap. They will panic. No need to worry. I’ll be staying up late just so I can be there for you. You know how to reach me. I will let you pick from my well-stocked assortment of wrapping paper. Take some, please. You’ll be doing me a favor. I have enough wrapping paper to last through 2045. If you take enough off my hands, no one will ever know that I was a WPA (Wrapping Paper Addict). Yes, on Christmas Eve I will leave the light on for you.

Although this writer has an amusing obsession with wrapping paper,
at this time of year she is clearly reminded that
the best gift ever given to us was not wrapped in duck wrap.
It was wrapped in heavenly love.