“I should do more. I feel like a failure. The house is a mess. I shouldn’t have been so impatient with my loved one today.” Sometimes caregivers beat themselves up trying to live up to unrealistic expectations. You are probably harder on yourself than anyone else. You probably expect more from yourself than your loved one expects.
Negative self-talk is one of a caregiver’s worst enemies. When dealing with all the emotions of caregiving, it is easy to give in to that negative talk. Don’t! This is one time you shouldn’t always listen to yourself.
You just can’t do it all or do it perfectly. You are only human. Remind yourself of that. Share your feelings with someone you trust. Join a support group. Recruit some help with tasks. Recruit some help so you can get away from it all, if only for a few hours. Surround yourself with a few caregiver cheerleaders. Remind yourself of all the positive things you are doing for your loved one. Sometimes it is really difficult. Even so, be grateful for this opportunity to draw closer to your loved one. You are both learning more about each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
Most of all, be kind to yourself. After all, you are giving your loved one a precious gift that few people can or would give. You are giving your loved one your time, your help, your support, and your love as you go on this journey together.
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