Chasing Chili Dogs

I thought getting a quick lunch would be easy.  I was wrong. 

The bright days of summer were fading.  There was a chance of rain and the temperature was a comfortable seventy-something with overcast skies.  I was out of town and had just finished a doctor appointment.  I had a few errands to run before I went home.  It was beyond lunch time and I was getting hungry. 

I decided to go to an old-fashioned Root Beer Drive-In as I had been craving a Chili Dog for some time.  It was not the healthiest choice, but sometimes a little comfort food is just what we need.  I told myself there wouldn’t be many more chances to get a Chili Dog at the Root Beer Stand before they closed for the season.   

While trying to ignore my growling stomach, I pulled the car into a parking spot.  To my left, there was a menu and a speaker.  As I pulled in, I noticed two people in the car parked to my left.  Once parked, I could not see them.  The large menu sign separated us.  I lowered my window and pressed the button to indicate that I was ready to order.  A muffled response came thru the speaker.  “Can I help you?” asked a feminine teenaged voice. 

At the same time as I started to speak, the man in the passenger seat in the car to my left said, “Well, we need a little more time to look the menu over.”  I stopped speaking thinking that I would wait until he was done to avoid any interference.  I thought it was quite a coincidence that we both pushed our speaker buttons at the same time.  I also wondered how often this happened. 

When he had stopped talking, I pushed my speaker button again. Another muffled response came thru the speaker:  Is this order to go?  “Yes,” I said. 

Once again, I started to speak at the same time as the man in the passenger seat in the car to my left.  He said, “Well, we were looking the menu over, but I think we have it figured out now.”  I could not see this man.  I could only hear him, because of the large menu sign between us.  He started giving his order.  He was talking loudly and I could hear the waitress responding to him through the speaker.  Once again, I realized there was going to be some competition to get the orders right with both of us talking at the same time, so I stopped speaking into the speaker.

Once my boisterous neighbor had given his order, I thought it might be safe to try again.  I pressed the speaker button and I heard, “I am going to have to come out there to take your order.  We seem to be having trouble hearing you over the speaker.”  By now I knew what the problem was.  “Oh well,” I thought, “At least I will now finally get my order in.”  As I saw the waitress coming towards my car, much to my surprise, she walked past me.  She stopped at his car and took his order.  She then went back inside the root beer stand to process his order.  I considered flagging her down as she walked by, but this was getting interesting.  I decided to just go along with this and see where it would lead. 

Once again, I pushed the order button.  The voice on the speaker said, “Do you wish to add something to your order?”  By now, I was getting quite hungry and I still hadn’t submitted my order, but they were asking if I wanted to ADD something to my order.  As I sat there befuddled and hadn’t responded yet, the man in the car next to me said in a loud voice, “No, we don’t need to add anything more to our order.”  By now, I started considering getting out of the car and going inside to place my order.  Clearly frustrated, I pushed the speaker button again.  No response.  I pushed it again.  No response.  I pushed it a third time.  Still, no response.   One of the carhops came outside to my car and said, “We think there is something wrong with your speaker, so I came out to take your order.”  I looked at the waitress and said, “The speaker is working fine, it’s just that the guy in the car beside me keeps responding to your questions when you talk on my speaker, so I have been unable to place my order because you are faintly hearing him and not me because he is speaking over me.”  The waitress said, “Oh, well, I will go back inside and you can call me again to place your order.”  “Noooooooooooo,” I thought.  By now, I was very worried if I would be able to talk this time or if he would answer it again. 

Fortunately, I was finally able to get my order in.  I think my silent and out-of-sight neighbor may now have had a mouth full of food and finally quit talking!

After what seemed like forever, I got my Chili Dog to go.  I drove to a beautiful garden in the park to sit and eat.  A light rain started coming down.  A male and female cardinal flew near to me and landed on the railing of the gazebo I was sitting in.  They took turns cocking their heads sideways as they looked at me.  Clearly, they were looking for handouts.  I was enjoying the much anticipated and long awaited Chili Dog.  I was also trying to silence my roaring stomach.  I was not about to share one crumb of it.  All they were going to get from me on this day was a couple pieces of raw onions falling to the ground.  Sorry birdies! 

I love to sit in the garden admiring the flowers, meditating, and basking in the beautiful surroundings near the river.  I basked alright.  I could barely eat my chili dog.  Every bite reminded me of what an adventure it was to get the thing!  Soon my shoulders were rising and falling as I was laughing about my loud and overly talkative neighbor at the Root Beer Stand.  The cardinals grew bored with it all and took off.  I not only laughed the day this happened, I laughed about it many times over the next several days.        

I have not gone for another Chili Dog since that solo dining experience.  Actually, I prefer to dine with others.  I’d really love to have you join me for lunch someday, but I think I may need to first attend Post Traumatic Counselling for Fast Food Diners.  My hand shakes when I think of pressing the speaker button.  I break out in a cold sweat.  My mouth gets dry when I am about to give my order.  I have flashbacks.  Besides, I’m afraid we might go away hungry, so maybe we’ll just wait until later for an indoor dining experience to get together.  Something without speakers for ordering.  Something where we can look the waitress in the eye and order.  Yes, that would be good.      

Sometimes life is far too serious.  It is then that we may have to overlook frustration, laugh, and appreciate chasing our Chili Dogs.